Dilemma

Assalamualaikum..hey guys..

i don't actually know what shall i post today..but i really do feels like posting something...i was kind in dilemma..not really sure what to do or which to choose..there is so many thing going on my head..till i was kind of lost..till sometime i don't really get what is actually the problem is..silly right..yup..i felt the same way too..

here are my first situation is..sometime i used to think that i'm the second option of everything..i 'm like a punching bag..i don't really know why i'm feeling thing way..but i do believe that somehow..there must be a reason for everything that happen right??all i need to do is to be more positive..and try to face everything as cool as i could..maybe all those that have made me a second option have their own reason for everything..

Ieqa Masir always remind me..not to judge an action easily..everything has its pro and cons..i guess...i must follow her advice..

well..my second situation is..i kind of hard to understand my sweetheart...he is like so unpredictable..at one moment he said he don't care..but he actually did..all my action nowadays seem to be so not good for him..well i really tried my very best to make him satisfied..its just sometimes..we seem like we can't get along..it like both of us are in the different world..but i still believe that we still can try right??aren't love means give an take..responsible..trust..honest..and etc. i hate it when sometimes i have to lied to him just to avoid us form arguing..just to prevent him from being cold to me..

well actually..i didn't mean to do all those that he dislike..its just for me all that i did..seem to be okay and fine for me and my family..but not for me..for example..mommy never stop me from wearing shorts..but he dislike it..for him..i  to wear something proper..he even dislike me to go out at night.. although mommy have already gave permission..i understand all that he did is for my own good sake..but i just want him to know and understand me more..i'm tired of the fight that happen between both of us..sometime i felt like it makes no sense at all..

well loving is something easy and simple..but to remain it is something hard..something difficult..owh i really wish he can read what is on my heart..

i also wish those that made me as their second option..will get how does it feel when you be a second options.